The Stuttering Classes

I personally don't suffer from lixdexia but I was interested in Glynsky's recent post on The Fonz.

However I have been known to stammer particularly when trying to speak in the morning before 3/4 expresso coffees have been put away.

In some serious attempt to get over this problem I decided to visit my local stammerers action group in  a northern suburb of London.
I was immediately lost for words, which in this place appeared to be totally appropriate behavior, when I met our speech therapist who turned out to be exceptionally attractive young outgoing female.


I attended for two or 3 weeks, but our lovely nubile teacher seemed to be getting nowhere with our class. She had tried every technique in the book without much success.
None of us seemed to be improving. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said and I paraphrase her words, which were on the lines of:

"I will give three of you one chance, and If any of you can tell me, without stuttering, the name of the town where you were born I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water. So, who wants to begin?"
(or words to that effect)
I perhaps should not have offered to be the first to try, and my attempt at saying Cricklewood was not going to win the prize on offer.

 "Who's next?"said the speech  therapist.

A nice guy from the north  raised his hand and blurted out what sounded like  "R.R.R.R.Rotherham".

The final one of the three of us who had hardly attempted to speak a word during the previous sessions, took a deep breath and eventually blurted out "London."

“That was Brilliant,!”  said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise by taking him to the back office.

After fifteen minutes he came out, and told us all in a voice that had not improved since the first week
that he had meant to say

'London d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".

Sometimes life is just not fair.